Big Dick's Big Gay Tax Refund

(AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

Happy Tax Filing Day, America!

I know I pick on the Vice President a little, but he makes it too easy. Just this week, for example, he was loudly jeered and booed as he threw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals home opener. He looked so uncomfortable as he walked to the mound that for a fleeting moment, I actually felt sorry for him.

I quickly stopped hallucinating, admiring the entire spectacle, thinking it was a pure and perfectly appropriate form of national expression. When you flank yourself with wounded Iraq War Veterans (the cheapest of preemptive anti-boo tricks, if you ask me) on your walk to the mound and you still get jeered, it pretty much means America hates you. Besides, when a guy is at 19% popularity, is it really a good idea to throw him to the unwashed, unscreened masses, in the form of 25,000 Nationals fans, no less?

Shouldn't somebody be fired for that? I remember a time when this administration was more politically shrewd, and I didn't like them then, either.

Now comes the news that Dick is getting a big, fat $1.9 million tax refund. I guess we're to believe that he works hard for the money and has it coming to him or something, but, all things considered, shouldn't he let us keep the money? Just tell the IRS, "Naw, fellas, you just put that back in the coffers. There's a war on, and all!" Maybe a little more action, a little less swagger? Do thoughts such as these even cross the minds of the captains of industry? I wonder if he's a good tipper, Dick Cheney...

Should a Vice President really be making the kind of money that affords him such an obscene refund in the first place? Oh, well. Suck it, and Happy Tax Day to the rest of us public servants, I suppose. For example, one of my coworkers got $250.00 back, and she's hoping it's enough to take the kids to Kings Island.

I hope it is, too.

If life was fair, they'd make Cheney throw out the first pitch at a Tigers game, next.

Now my advice for those who die
Declare the pennies on your eyes
'Cause I'm the taxman
Yeah, I'm the taxman
And you're working for no one but me

The Beatles, "Taxman"