Of Bars, Booze, and Bartending - Proving "Coughlin's Law" Invalid Since Feb '05

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

So You Think You Can Tend Bar

This ought to be Fox's next reality concept. Throw 12 people from outside the on-premise world and throw them into club bartending. Really fuck with them, you know, Cosmos and Manhattans and Sex With An Alligators and Old-Fashioneds and Purple Hooters and fucking Mojitos. Make 'em. Make 'em good. And fast. Really fast. Fastest, most charming bartender wins 500 large. Where can I sign up?

My pick for judges: Janice Dickinson (knows her drink; former supermodel; could use the work; will probably say something outrageous); Kate Moss (knows her drink and doesn't look like someone who likes to wait on line; most likely to pass out while sampling the Flaming Dr. Pepper shots); and someone random, I'm thinking, I don't know, Tony Danza (could use the work) or maybe one of the aging "Full House" cast members, or the dad from Family Ties, I mean, how busy could he possibly be? I'll bet Michael Gross would sign on to do a Fox bartending reality show five minutes ago.