So You Think You Can Tend Bar

This ought to be Fox's next reality concept. Throw 12 people from outside the on-premise world and throw them into club bartending. Really fuck with them, you know, Cosmos and Manhattans and Sex With An Alligators and Old-Fashioneds and Purple Hooters and fucking Mojitos. Make 'em. Make 'em good. And fast. Really fast. Fastest, most charming bartender wins 500 large. Where can I sign up?

My pick for judges: Janice Dickinson (knows her drink; former supermodel; could use the work; will probably say something outrageous); Kate Moss (knows her drink and doesn't look like someone who likes to wait on line; most likely to pass out while sampling the Flaming Dr. Pepper shots); and someone random, I'm thinking, I don't know, Tony Danza (could use the work) or maybe one of the aging "Full House" cast members, or the dad from Family Ties, I mean, how busy could he possibly be? I'll bet Michael Gross would sign on to do a Fox bartending reality show five minutes ago.