Of Bars, Booze, and Bartending - Proving "Coughlin's Law" Invalid Since Feb '05

Thursday, April 13, 2006

April is Boring

It's been disappointing to me that I haven't had an interesting story or scenario to share recently, so I got to thinking... why is April so boring?

There's a game that all restaurant workers play called "Why aren't we busy tonight?" In the game, servers, bartenders, chefs and managers stand around and contemplate. Is it the nice weather? The bad weather? Some sporting event? Something on the news? Tax season? Next time you're at a bar or restaurant on a slow night, try to listen to the conversation the workers are having; it's something that I'm certain every restaurant in the world has in common. It's maddening, really, when business is slow, and there's never an explanation for it, but, like clockwork, hospitality workers wrack their brains over it nightly.

For many years now, I've kept a little log book of how much I make in tips each evening. It helps me keep track when tax time comes, and it's also interesting (but mostly depressing) to look back at and see how I used to make a lot more money than I do now. I gotta tell you, the late 1990's were the best when it came to bartending money. I actually felt rich in those days.

One think I've noticed about my little book is that April is an awful month for the bar business. Consistently, I've made horrible money and business has been slow each April.

I wonder what gives... and thinking about my log book, I'm really wondering why I've watched my income go down, down, down ever since, say, honestly, 2001.

Money don't buy everything it's true
What it don't buy I can't use
I want money, that's what I want
That's what I want, oh yeah, that's what I want

The Flying Lizards, "Money" (I like their version best)