Enough with the Cosmos, already.
Listen up, hipster girls... Sex and the City is soooooo pre-9/11. The Cosmopolitan doesn't make you look cool and sexy, it only makes you appear uncreative and wasted. The stuff is high octane, don't you know that? Be a big girl, and order a real martini, already. It looks even cooler. Promise!
Also, it's increasingly difficult to hide the auto-eye-roll when you lovelies order your Cosmos in triplicate. Be original!!! Try a Gimlet, or a Bombay Sapphire Desert Dry Martini; they taste yummy, and you'll earn a respectful nod from your favorite Tavern Wench/Tavern Duder. I'll even put it in one of those sassy martini glasses so that you can run your finger seductively around its rim, just like your beloved Cosmo.